I am happy that the media with the support of the public have cashed in on reaching the saturation point of rape intolerance with the much hyped 'Delhi gang rape' case. This is definitely a turning point in our nation as we have 'finally' woken up to accept the horror amidst which we had adapted a way of life - akin to the 'see no evil' monkey. A lot of good things have come out highlighting the lack of police security, governance, non-availability of police personnel - 60% of whom are deputed as VIP security, politicians coming under the scanner etc. It is also good to see the Supreme court asking courts to complete rape cases in 2 months and to not adjourn without valid reasons.
But when all this led to a branding suggestion - naming the law after the victim, I feel things are not aligned and we are digressing from the real issues. What worries me is the delay in waking up of the Delhi public in rising up to this occasion until their own lives were finally under looming threat and that there is a possibility that they could be next. This rape is nothing compared to so many brutal murders happening in the country. Dalit women raped and paraded naked as a punishment or as a solution to a problem, khaps ordering execution of couples who have married outside their caste, caste intolerant family members killing their own daughters in the name of 'honour killings', the list is never ending.
Are we ever going to attack the root of this 'problem'? Is the demand for 'changing the mindset' of men practical and sustainable? I get irritated when I often come across slogans like 'Dont ask your daughters not to stay out late, teach your boys to behave'. I ask the parents, brothers and husbands if they would rather believe in a 'code of law' or 'law of nature'. If it has to be 'taught' then it is something unnatural, isnt it? Yes, we are 'supposed' to be civilized, but isn't there an animal in every one of us. Is a 'code of law' going to deter a natural sexual urge?
This is the root of the problem and this is where the 'mindset change' has to begin. Is it not time we spoke about the 'elephant in the room' - 'sexual frustration'? We aspire to ape the west - in our thoughts, actions, behavior, awareness - then why don't we also have a solution for sexual gratification through legal brothels and at least strip clubs or Gentlemen's clubs? Isn't it high time we have sex-education in schools where we can learn about and to respect the opposite gender better?
Aren't we all aware of the declining and low sex ratio in our country? Don't we know how difficult it is for a to-be-groom's parents to find a suitable girl for an arranged marriage? Many parents from the cities go back to the villages to find a suitable girl for their sons. The parents of the girls in the cities look for alliances from guys who are working and settled abroad. Given this scenario, where there is an acute shortage of women for men to get married - would a law and awareness campaign preside over a natural need? If there is a genuine shortage of women even for decently earning professionals then where will the less fortunate and poor people go?? Shouldn't female foeticide and infanticide be the hot issue to be tackled?
I appeal to the women - please be alert, cover up when you have to, hang out with people you know, travel safe, keep your loved ones informed about your wherabouts - because even one single unpleasant sexual assault is not worth the hassle.
I wonder why I have not come across this kind of perspective anywhere in the media. If what I have expressed is absurd, I am open to feedback and criticism.
-A common man (educated, civilized, husband, brother and son)
